Walking Him Home by Joanne Tubbs Kelly

Author:Joanne Tubbs Kelly
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: She Writes Press

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Alan used a CPAP machine to help with his sleep apnea. We had taken his machine along with us to the hospital, and the staff respiration therapy team apparently made some adjustments to it so they could deliver oxygen directly through the machine while Alan slept. I was busy signing papers when they made the adjustments and did not see exactly what they had changed.

On our first night back home, as I filled the CPAP machine’s reservoir with water, it occurred to me that something looked different but I wasn’t sure what. I crossed my fingers and hoped it would work the way it always had. As usual, Alan fell asleep immediately, and I knew at once that something was horribly wrong.

The noises emanating from Alan’s throat made me think of a dying horse. Not that I have ever heard a horse die, but it sounded like I would expect a dying horse to sound, sort of a cross between a whinny and a wail, with a bit of snorting around the edges. Over and over and over again.

I tried adjusting his mask, putting an extra pillow under his head, closing his bedroom door, closing my bedroom door, putting a pillow over my ears—everything I could think of to eliminate or muffle the sound. Nothing worked. In desperation, I called the hospital and eventually made my way through the phone tree to the night nurse on the floor where Alan had stayed. She assured me her team had made no changes to Alan’s CPAP machine but promised to have someone from the respiration therapy team call me to troubleshoot the problem. As I waited for the call, I used my phone to make a short video of Alan’s disturbing noises.

It was past midnight when Kevin, a kind man from the respiration therapy team, called. I texted him photos of the tubing connected to the CPAP, and he walked me through removing a connector they had added to it that allowed oxygen to be piped though the machine. I was elated until I discovered removing the connector didn’t solve the problem. Alan was still making the eerie, piercing sounds. Kevin didn’t think the sounds were caused by anything his team had done to Alan’s machine. He had no suggestions for next steps to solve the problem.

It looked to me like at least part of the problem was that Alan was breathing through his mouth but his CPAP mask covered only his nose.

After a sleepless night, I did some Internet research and discovered that Apria sold CPAP masks that covered both mouth and nose. I packed up Alan and his machine and headed for the nearest Apria store. When we arrived, we found out we couldn’t merely walk in and buy something off the shelf; we needed an appointment. I explained we were desperate and managed to get an appointment for late afternoon.

When we returned later that day, the customer service rep checked the settings on Alan’s machine and could find nothing wrong.

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